Are You A Prisoner Of Your Own Mind?
Why What You Seek Isn’t Out There
Only hurt people hurt people. If you're not hurting inside, it's really hard to hurt someone else, because you realize that whatever you do to another affects you too.
The Bible already said it over 2,000 years ago: don’t plot harm against your neighbor. I only truly understood the depth of this message when I realized the pain I was subconsciously causing others.
Because in the end, everyone is your neighbor.
I was projecting my pain onto those around me. Only now do I see that this pain ultimately came from the prison I had created for myself — the prison of self-protection.
The illusion of safety
It’s the same prison society has built for us. The imaginary safety they promise: make a lot of money to be successful. It’s the desire of a better future when you achieve a certain title. It’s the general story that a house, a spouse, kids, and a full bank account are the key to happiness.
But that’s all an illusion.
Of course, it’s comforting not to worry about food on the table or a roof above your head — those are basic human needs. But once they’re met, we move on to the next goal. Our society is built around achieving.
The problem is: achievement never ends. There’s always more to chase. Always more money to make. Always a bigger car to buy. The sky is the limit, and even when you reach the sky, someone will suggest you shoot for the Moon.
Isn’t that ridiculous? Why do we tie our worth to things outside ourselves — money, status, relationships, kids, titles? None of those are truly you.
And happiness can never be found outside yourself.
The global depression
After living abroad for ten years, I spent a summer at home in the Netherlands. What I saw couldn’t have been further from people living freely. Most looked stuck — burnt out by their jobs, their relationships, their pressure to maintain appearances.
Many were simply trying to keep their heads above water, because everything is so expensive. They bought homes with sky-high mortgages and now rely on two incomes to survive. No wonder they can't leave their partners or reduce their work hours. They simply can't afford to.
Does that sound like freedom to you?
To me, it looks like the ultimate prison — with bars people don’t even know exist.
And that’s just the external part.
The real prison is the mind that believes it constantly has to achieve something to be worthy.
The disconnection from the Earth and ourselves
Many people in Western countries have lost touch with nature. They don’t see the sunrise in the morning, don’t honor the moon at night, and are not aware of the natural beauty that always surrounds them.
Nature is our real safety net. Almost everything can be healed in nature. Mother Earth will teach you all you need to know — as long as you live in alignment with her.
Sure, if I broke my leg, I’d still want to see a doctor. But most illnesses aren’t physical at the root — they stem from the soul being out of sync. Think about all the autoimmune disorders, cancers, and mental health issues we face. They’re symptoms of being disconnected — from nature, and from ourselves.
Losing touch with nature
When you lose touch with nature, you lose touch with yourself. I never thought I would say this, since I used to love cities and the buzz and the clubs and the entertainment — but looking back now, I was so lost.
I tried to fit into a mold that was never meant for me. Always waiting for the weekend to feel alive. Always dreading the morning alarm on weekdays.
In cities, there is hardly any space to find the right mold. There is too much going on, too many distractions, too many external pursuits. Everybody is always ‘on’.
It wasn’t until I traveled to Mexico and lived in a dusty, sleepy beach town that I truly connected with myself.
The prison bars of my own mind
To be honest, I was traveling because I was looking for something external too. It might not have been a job title or a relationship, but it was still an escape. I thought I would find the perfect place to live at some point, and then I could be happy.
I found those places many times, only to realize they were still not what I was looking for after a while. So I packed my bags again and kept on searching.
Then the pandemic hit. I couldn’t leave Mexico unless I returned to my home country, which I didn’t want to do. I was stuck. And that turned out to be the greatest gift of my life.
I had to sit with myself — and all my anguish. I felt the walls closing in, desperate to escape. But I had nowhere to escape to.
I had to be with just me.
At first, I was furious about the lockdowns. How dare they take my freedom away? Little did I know, that I had already created my own prison years before. I was, once again, trying to find happiness outside myself.
The problem with the world
If we were truly content with who we are, there would be no wars. No genocides. No power games. No crimes.
Everybody who hurts another Soul, is mostly hurt inside themselves. They have learned to try to find safety in external things. They think others can take away their happiness, and that’s why they have to defend themselves.
It doesn’t matter if this is on a global level, or on a personal scale — we are the slaves of our own minds.
If you can see that, you’ve already discovered the bars of your own prison. My bars are the illusion of the perfect place. Yours might be the perfect relationship, or the dream job. Whatever it is — that’s where the work begins.
The prison is your key to freedom
Release the bars and you will experience true freedom. Free yourself from any attachment or outcome, and just be. Sit still with yourself, and listen to your Soul. It doesn’t want to achieve anything. It just wants to be present.
Almost everyone has built a prison around themselves. We grow up with trauma, pain, unmet needs. And most of our parents weren’t equipped to provide us with real inner safety.
Maybe you were bullied, assaulted, neglected, or simply never accepted for who you are. It doesn’t matter how or when the bars formed — we all have them.
Your job is to find them. And when you free yourself, you begin to free the world. Because we are all connected. We are all One.
How to find your prison bars
Start by getting still. Stop chasing. Stop achieving. Stop trying to find happiness in a partner, a paycheck, or a future moment.
Meditate. Learn from your triggers. Heal your wounds. What makes you angry? What makes you sad?
That is where growth can be found.
Next time something frustrates you, pause. It’s not about what happened or what someone else did. It’s about how you respond.
Your intuition knows when something is not right. Listen to it. Give yourself permission to walk away — from anything or anyone.
Because something will always happen. Life will always challenge you. The perfect world, the perfect partner, the perfect self — they don’t exist.
But if you accept that everything is here to help you grow, you’ve already stepped out of your prison. Don’t go and try to break into somebody else's prison, when you are stuck in your own.
Just do it
It wasn’t easy to release myself from my prison. It felt safe in there. Familiar. I had patterns and routines that gave me comfort.
But to truly be free, I had to walk into the darkness and face my shadows. And that’s where many people stop — because it hurts.
But the only way to disable pain is to move through it.
It’s not easy to look in the mirror. It’s not easy to walk away from the life you’ve built. But the reward? It’s worth it. You are worth it.
It’s your choice now — to release the shackles of your mind.
Are you going to do it?