You’ll Never Be Happy Until You Accept This One Truth
Stop faking joy. Find real happiness.
Life is pretty simple if we live it as we’re supposed to. We all have a path to follow and without walking it, we won’t experience wholeness. Each human is unique, and we all have the ability to leave a mark on this planet.
But how do you know that you are following the right path? The question you should ask yourself is extremely simple:
Are you happy?
To get to a real answer is less simple, though. You might think about this query for a bit and come to the conclusion that you do pretty well in life. But read the question again — are you happy?
What is happiness anyway?
To come to the core of this statement, we need to know first what real happiness is. Is it being financially stable? To have a happy family/marriage? To have a safe roof to sleep under? To have food on the table? To live up to your true potential?
Happiness depends on where you are in the Pyramid of Maslow. His Hierarchy of Needs reflects on what level you can ask yourself this question. If your physiological needs (shelter, food, safety) are not met, you cannot be happy yet further up the pyramid.
This could mean that happiness is also experienced at varied depths. When you are running for your life in a war-ridden country, you don’t worry about whether your friends appreciate you or not. Happiness for those people is finding safety first.
The question applies to everyone on a different level
However, war victims can still ask themselves the same question: Am I happy? The answer is probably “no”, as they don’t feel safe in their first needs, and thus need to find safety before finding happiness. Their answer to this question makes them change their life — safety, shelter, and food are their driving forces to be happy at that moment.
So what about the people who are higher up the ladder (which is probably most of you reading this article)?
Let’s assume we have at least reached the third level — Social Belonging. This means your basic needs in life are met, and you have time to form and keep relationships.
Now ask yourself: Are you happy? Think about it for a bit. Have you felt pure bliss while not doing anything else? Have you had moments where everything in life just made sense, and you didn’t want to change anything at all? Moments where you are by yourself, and you feel completely at ease?
Happiness vs. joy
If you don’t know what I am talking about, you are not truly happy. Real happiness comes when nothing external is achieved. If you doubt your own happiness, you probably only experienced joy. Joy is when you’re excited about that new outfit or upcoming vacation. Or a positive answer to the date you wanted to go on. Or getting the promotion you’ve been waiting for.
Joy is the smile on your face when something nice happens to you. Happiness goes much deeper than that. Happiness is a state of gratitude and bliss for everything that happens to you. Not just the nice moments, but also the dark times.
Even the word happiness is derived from this — happen-iss. It’s all that happens and the non-resistance to it.
Now ask yourself the question again: Are you happy?
If the answer is “not really”, this is your secret key to changing your life around.
A powerful answer that inspires change
Everybody deserves to be happy. And everybody can achieve the happiness that I am talking about. You just have to take your answer seriously. If you are not happy, something has got to change.
Maybe it’s your marriage that is making you unhappy — if so, you know what to do. Maybe you are not happy in your job — you only have to write one e-mail to get out of it. Maybe your living situation is making you miserable — figure out how to change it. Maybe you are the reason you are not happy — work on yourself and stop being the victim.
Change is scary for most of us. We learned to find ease in the situation and just deal with the consequences, but it doesn't have to be like this. Happiness is waiting on the other side of change — you just have to do it first.
Change is the only thing you can be certain of
It’s funny that we are so afraid of change, while this is the foundation of our whole existence. Everything changes all the time. The seasons change. Children grow up. Trees lose their leaves every year. You get older. Relationships are made and broken. Birth and death happen simultaneously in the world. Without change, we would not exist.
Why are you so afraid of it?
If you dream of traveling, do it. Quit your job, sell your house, and do it. It is so much easier than you think. And if it doesn't work out, something else will come up. That is the beauty of change.
If your partner is not right for you, break up. Swallow the hard pill for a while and be single. Learn from the hard moments and know when it’s time to move on. Don’t hold on to something that is not meant for you.
If you hate every Monday and can’t wait for the week to be over, find another job. We spend two-thirds of our lives working, you better enjoy that part. Better still, find your Magnum Opus — your passion project that is the reason you are on Earth. And don’t worry, everybody has a Magnum Opus, you just have to find yours.
The key to true happiness
The secret to being happy is not through achieving. Happiness cannot be experienced through external things. Happiness is within. If you are truly happy, everything in your life will be bathed in the same happiness.
This might sound unreal but it’s true. When you are truly happy, it does not matter anymore what happens to you. Because your source of happiness doesn’t have a limit. In fact, you embrace the hard moments because you know this is where you grow the most.
According to the Pyramid of Maslow, Self Actualization is the top. When you pass all the previous needs, there is only one thing left — become who you are meant to be.
Be happy in the previous states first, and once that unsettling feeling enters again, you know what to do.
Change.
Happiness is contagious
Think of someone that is truly happy according to you. What have they done? Where are they at in their life? Why are they so inspiring? Whoever the person in your head is, you can be that too.
Because true happiness is contagious. People are drawn to happy people. Not because they always smile or are so fun to be around, but because they emit an inner radiance that makes you want to spend time with them.
Truly happy people have learned the hard lessons and have respect for the journey. They inspire you to be your best Self. They want you to thrive because they know that is how the whole world lifts its vibration.
We need more happy people on this planet. Do you choose to be one of them?
If you’re craving a deeper connection with yourself and feel ready to begin again, I highly recommend this course. If you're ready for a reset, this might be just what you need.