The Harsh Truth About Loving Someone Who Won't Let You In
The real reason they keep pushing you away
Imagine this: you meet somebody who ticks all your boxes. Their energy is magnetic, and around them you feel like you are home. All you want is to be with them, and thinking of a life without them is almost unbearable.
You light up around them, your nervous system relaxes, and you think they are the most wonderful person ever.
There is just one little detail: they don’t want to receive your love. They keep pushing you away, keep telling you reasons why you are not compatible.
This is a painful dynamic to be in because you are sure they would be so wonderful if they just opened up.
But there is a reason they don’t.
Love is a frequency
Love is a living energy stream that comes from a higher source. You feel it flow through you, but it blocks at the receiver you are sending it to. This might be because their heart center is closed. Maybe they have unhealed trauma they need to conquer before allowing love in.
Or maybe their love frequency is simply different from yours. You can see all the potential, but if the frequencies don’t match, it cannot come into fruition.
The Universe has a reason for this. When love is present on both sides, it naturally flows between both parties. The fact that it is blocked in one of them means it’s not resonating right now.
The frequency of love always attracts the same frequency. When somebody is sending out a different signal than yours, there will be a mismatch.
Soul contracts and pre-birth agreements
I believe our souls sign contracts before we come to Earth. This is to make us grow and to learn lessons. Sometimes we meet somebody who is only here to teach us that. Not to receive our love.
When this happens to you, there is a karmic imbalance in your own life. After all, if your love frequency were pure, it would attract the same pureness. But your vibration is most likely overwhelming… too giving, or too attached.
The response of the other person has to be to push you away. There is no other way. You need to discover the parts of yourself that make somebody reject you (and you not listening to that rejection).
Rejection is not bad. It’s redirection. The person who rejects you does not vibrate on your love level, whatever that is right now.
Why somebody might not be ready for your love
There are a million reasons why somebody is not ready to let love in. One might be because they are still in preparation mode. The Universe is still preparing them to receive love, and you are interfering with that process.
Or maybe their life on Earth has caused them significant damage. They might have learned that love isn’t safe, and they need to feel that safety inside first. Trust that inner healing will also come to them, without your help.
If you force them to love you, that’s the opposite of safety. No matter how well you mean it.
I know it’s very hard to let somebody go, especially when you see clearly where their wounds are. But it’s not your responsibility. In fact, you are taking their autonomy away, which allows them to heal themselves.
You are basically saying: “You are not capable of helping yourself, so I will step in and be your savior.”
Do you see why this is not going to work?
The higher plane is preventing love
The Universe helps everyone at their own pace. Don’t force that process upon somebody. You are literally manifesting for them not to heal, because you believe your love is enough.
But it will never be enough. They need to love themselves first. Trust that the Universe will help them with that. If they constantly lean on you for validation, you are taking it away to let it come from within.
If somebody is not ready for love with you, there is a reason for that. There is an energetic misalignment between you, and you cannot change that.
Maybe this person is not meant to have a partner right now, because they are working on a business project that is going to change the planet.
Or maybe they need to bring children into the world that you cannot give them (or the other way around).
Perhaps you are not the right one for them, and the Universe is preventing it from working out between you.
Please stop interfering with somebody’s soul plan. You are not part of it right now for a reason.
The mirror principle
Nothing is random. The fact that you fell in love with somebody who does not want your love is a mirror. You attracted that mirror for a reason. Their inability to love you reflects your own hidden blocks to receiving.
Do you love yourself enough to accept that? Or do you need somebody to constantly validate your love? Why is it so hard to accept that somebody does not want you? That is where you need to search for love, not in the other person.
Carl Jung says the same:
“Projection is one of the commonest psychic phenomena… Everything that is unconscious in ourselves we discover in our neighbour, and we treat him accordingly.” — Carl Jung
When love works, it works. The mirror is reflecting back the same love you are sending out. Their rejection means you are rejecting yourself, especially if you try to convince them otherwise.
The illusion of rejection
The paradox here is that rejection is an illusion. The energy of love is never lost. Love doesn’t diminish when it’s unreturned; it just changes form.
If you give love to somebody who is bouncing it away, it bounces back to you. You are the one ready for that love, not them.
Because if they were ready, it would flow through them and magnify in partnership. That type of love is what you should strive for. Not an endless stream of love directed at them without reciprocation.
Open yourself to your own love… your soul is apparently screaming for it. They are just the mirror showing you that.
Maybe you are manipulating your own purpose by pursuing them, and something much better is waiting for you. But it will never come when you don’t close this door first.
The Universe is constantly giving you signs
I have a friend who believes love can heal everything, and she keeps the door open for her “partner” (who has been rejecting her on and off for many years already).
But the healing starts with trusting the Universe. If there are constant blockages, there is a reason for it.
Maybe the best love you can give them is to let them go. If you lose yourself in loving someone, that is not love. That is martyrdom. You are suffocating them with your love.
You didn’t come into this world to sacrifice yourself. You came here to embody love, not deplete yourself completely. Because when love is healthy and reciprocated, it will grow both people.
Love is abundant between a healthy couple, not a constant drain out of your own cup.
Redirect your love to what is ready
Some people just have an incredible amount of love to give (and I admire them greatly). But I see them crumble under the closed doors of the receiver.
Your love is meant to be welcomed. Redirect it to something else. Maybe towards a pet or by starting a community project. If you are one of those people who just love endlessly, don’t waste it on somebody who pushes you away.
Take this chance to upgrade your own love frequency. Where love is received, it will be amplified. And the Universe will reward you.
Remember that you are love, not just a giver of love. When your whole being radiates love, the right people will be attracted to that. You literally call them into your frequency.
You are not here to save somebody
When you see someone’s potential, it’s very hard to walk away. But this is exactly what it is: potential. You are not here to make them see that potential.
Actually, it’s quite entitled to think that way. They subconsciously feel that you are sorry for them and want to save them. But they don’t need you to get saved. They can save themselves if both of you trust the Universe.
By thinking of them in that way, you are contributing to the cycle of needing to be saved. Your thoughts affect them directly because everything is energy.
Instead, think about how they will know themselves what is good for them. And trust their decisions. When that doesn’t include you, accept that. Praise them for listening to their intuition, instead of trying to change it.
The Universe will reward you as well; all you need to do is surrender.
If you need some help after being rejected, this article could be your next read:
