It used to be quite hard for me to let things go. I always wanted to manage what was happening in my life and control how I could get a different outcome if I didn’t like it. And if things didn’t go as planned, I was often looking for something else to blame it on.
I couldn’t accept situations as they were and got frustrated when things didn’t go my way. Now I know that this was because I needed that external control as an attempt to gain control over my mind.
My mind was always on, always looking for the next stimulation. But what I really needed was trust.
Chaotic childhood
I grew up in a challenging household, with a parent who had their own control issues. I promised myself as a kid that I would never let anybody rule my life when I grew up, and I vowed I would do things my way as soon as I could move out.
It was funny that I pictured myself as a liberated backpacker roaming the world freely, but deep inside, I couldn’t truly let go. I searched for experiences that would challenge me, because it gave me a purpose that I could “conquer” those.
Travel taught me that life is just some fleeting moments all patched together, and you can’t really plan for anything. I used to love that part of always being on the move; you never knew what was gonna happen next.
Inner frustration
But when bad things happened, I wasn’t able to embrace those also. For example, one time in Vietnam, two guys on a motorbike passing by stole my bag, and I lost everything inside.
I got desperate, trying to run after them, but obviously, they were much faster than I was. The next few days, I went to the police station all the time, asking them to help me find my bag, which was a hopeless situation.
For the rest of the trip, I stayed frustrated and angry with the Vietnamese people that they “did this to me”. I distrusted every person on the street and told everybody that the Vietnamese are not welcoming.
Spiritual awakening
I have countless other examples, but it comes down to the fact that I was living a very free life, but my mind wasn’t very free. Until I arrived in Mexico and met somebody who shook my world apart.
Nothing about that situation was controllable, and after we broke up, I had lost all sense of who I was. There literally was nothing left to control anymore.
And what happened next was the most transformative period of my life. I gave up on trying to change things. I got into a spiritual awakening and felt more connected to something bigger than ever before.
So, I surrendered myself completely to the Universe.
The Universe has your back
I was so lost that there was nothing else to hold on to anymore. But what followed were little moments of absolute Oneness. I was so in awe of nature and how everything is connected, despite being so immersed in my sadness at the same time.
I forgot who I was completely sometimes. There was no “I” anymore.
And even though those moments lasted only seconds in the beginning, they gave me a sense of trust. I realized that everything happens for a reason.
No matter how deep you sink, the Universe is there to guide you. And it will make it better for you if you allow it.
The mindset shift that changes everything
I promised myself that if I got out of that dark depression, I would keep trusting. I would never forget that the hardest things make us grow the most.
And that mindset shift has been my savior. If you believe that everything happens to make you grow, your life will be 100 times easier.
You don’t get into challenging situations to be punished; you get into them to learn to trust. Trust that there is a higher reason behind it.
It’s how every religion in the world works. There is something bigger than you guiding you. You are not alone on this planet.
Some more examples
After I cemented that belief in my brain, I still got into hard situations. Life doesn’t suddenly stop challenging you just because you believe.
But what does stop is the victim mentality.
When I got kidnapped and scammed for 2,000 USD in the Dominican Republic, I refused to let it ruin my vacation. I trusted that the money would end up correctly, either with somebody who needed it more than me, or back to me somehow.
- It got back in my bank account four months later.
When my motorhome/tinyhouse, which I rebuilt myself, was robbed in Mexico, I was shocked and hurt. But I trusted that there was a higher plan behind it.
- It gave me the final push to move out of a toxic environment, and now I am living my dream life in Spain.
When I tore two nerves in my shoulder and couldn’t lift my arm for months on end, I trusted that my body was asking for rest for a reason.
- I discovered the root of my other health problems and was able to reverse the damage and become much healthier in general.
Your thoughts are extremely powerful
If there is anything I have learned in my life, it’s that your thoughts shape your reality. If you believe bad things are going to happen, they will. If you believe you are a victim, you will be.
And if you believe good things will happen, you will attract those. It doesn’t mean that bad stuff doesn’t enter anymore; it just means you can divert your thoughts into trusting that everything has a higher purpose.
This has nothing to do with toxic positivity and everything to do with the willingness to learn. Of course, you can be sad and frustrated about certain situations, but if you trust the outcome, your life will always change for the better.
How to use this mindset?
When you find yourself in a challenging situation, pause and take a step back. Sit with the pain and the frustration, but don’t dwell on it. Think of the best possible outcome after that situation has passed.
For example, if your heart gets broken, tend to the pain, but don’t try to reverse the situation. It is there for a reason. Believe that whatever comes next is exactly what you need.
Or if you get fired and are angry about why this had to happen to you, instead, be happy that you get to have new opportunities. Maybe you would have never gotten out of that job otherwise.
If you learn to shift your mindset into acceptance, every single thing will become easier.
You will become a much better version of yourself
The side effect of this mindset shift is that you will become the best version of yourself, simply because you trust life. You trust that there is indeed something bigger guiding you.
Because what you believe becomes truth. I am not just saying this because it works for me. There are many studies about this same thing that all come to one conclusion:
Our thoughts shape our reality.
Believe this for yourself and start seeing the results. I promise you that life will become 100 times easier.
If you’re craving a deeper connection with yourself and feel ready to take your power back, I highly recommend this course. If you’re ready for a reset, this might be just what you need.
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